For the Love of the Game

So back in the day, I used to play high school soccer! I loved it! I have SOOOO MANY fond memories from way back when. I love soccer! It has always been a huge part of me and i have wanted for a long time to get back into it.

A girl i know signed up to play on a women's indoor soccer team. They were needing more players. I talked to J about me playing again. Pros are, it is super fun. It would help kick my butt and get it back into shape. It would give me a small "outlet" and escape from all the everyday stresses and crazy life that i live. Cons: I was soo out of shape. Did i mention i was soo out of shape. Running is not an easy thing to do for me as I have reached my old age, but I was confident this is as good of an excuse as ever to get back into it.

So i decided to go with the pros side and sign up. This would help me get back into running again. I have a huge love hate relationship with running. I love when you hit that "runners high" and i love the feeling i get AFTER I AM DONE. But during the moment i hate every minute of it. It is torture for me. I literally have to tell my self....one more step...one more step...you can do this...and so forth until i have hit my limit where i cannot go anymore. Not to mention i have yet to reach this "runners high" that i feel like came soo easily back in the olden days of highschool. It seems like it is harder to get there the older i get.

So we had our first game and I was soo pumped. I have soo missed this sport. I just felt this inner demon within me. My head knew exactly what to do but my body would not keep up with my head. It was a fight the first game to get back into it. And of course i suffered the soreness and stiffness that follows those lovely soccer games. But i pushed on. I kept up on the exercising. I kept up with running as much as my sore stiff legs would allow and hit the gym the other days. I was finally started to feel like i could actually do this again. The games have been soo fun and i have actually surprised myself with little things that have come back to me to help me in the game. Plus I love the feeling when that perfect pass gets set up for you to blow the ball past the goalie.

Last night we had another game. I decided I would wrap my awful shin splints up before the game just like i did back in high school. My husband has told me that maybe that I should take it easy for one game and not overdue it because i needed to give them time to heal. I on the other hand cannot go out half way on the soccer field. I have to give it my all and then i end up suffering the consequences for a few days thereafter. I should of maybe listened to him. I knew my shins splints were pretty bad but the tape really really does help them a ton. I felt renewed last night and was pretty pumped to play again!

We were in the final 5 minutes. I am going for the ball with the other player. The ball is up in the air and I jumped up to trap it and come down hard. Sadly, as I came down. my ankle snapped to the side. I landed hard on the side of my foot not the sole of my foot. I felt a crack and the pain was gnarly. I sat there stunned for a minute and realize that as i try to move my foot it is screaming for me to stop. It is hurting soo bad. I was sooo bummed. No..not now ..I do not have time in my crazy life to have a foot injury and this cannot be happening. I get helped off the field by my teammates and start icing. The pain is soo bad. I see a small spot off the side of my foot start to get swollen and poke through my sock. I am soo scared it is broken. Life then turns into a Chinese fire drill. I have a friend help drive me home with the two kids in the back. J leaves his job to meet me at home. We meet J at the house and find out we have only 15 minutes to get to the urgent care b4 they close. I really did not and could not afford any type of ER bills. I still haven't seen the damage from conners surgery last month. J gets us all loaded up and we head into urgent care to get xrays. The pain sucks soo bad. The throbbing is making me nauseous. I am pissed(very angry, sorry mom) cause i really do not have a life where I can afford to be out of commission. I work 3 jobs..i have two busy boys with two busy little schedules and frankly being couch bound is not my idea of fun. This sucks. I have family comming into town in a week...my house is a sight in of itself and i really really cannot have this be happening.

We get the doc to finally see us, and we get the xrays. Diagnosis: Not broken!

Phew...i am soo thankful it is not broken. I was soo worried when i heard and felt that crackle when i landed on it. I did tear two of the tendons and sprain it. Bad news...the doc informs me breaking it would have been alot less painful and probably easier on the healing process. I also get to sport this ridiculous looking walking cast.


I also get to be on crutches until i can apply pressure. I am not sure how long that will take, but i hope not that long...Then once i am comfortable doing so, I can work up to walking on it again. I really am bummed. Once i get to walking, I can then ditch the "awesome" foot gear, and trade it in for a brace. That way I can wear shoes again. There goes me trying to get back into shape. There goes the million and ten things i needed to get done...there goes driving for the time being.

Well...it has not yet been a day. I have had a huge amount of help and support from my friends out here. They have been sooo awesome. I cannot thank them enough for all the sacrifice they have done to help with serving me. I am not one to ask for help very easily. This morning one of my good friends just showed up without me knowing and started getting the boys ready for school. She dressed them..got them breakfast and even ran a special errand for me. She then stopped in with dinner later this afternoon. My visiting teacher who is also my teammate came by this morning and brought me crutches and more dinner! I was soo excited. To get the crutches and not have to go and buy them is a huge blessing. I no longer had to crawl around the house. Crawling around the house has been no fun. I have a new found admiration for little babies who crawl all over the place. It did not find it fun nor did my knees like the feeling. I could have a little freedom. And to have dinner taken care of is a huge stress relief. It was such an answer to my prayers. And all the phone calls to check in on me have helped soo much. I am soo extremely thankful for all my friends and all they do for us out here. They truly are our family out here and I am soo grateful. And i must say how grateful i am for my hubby. He is soo busy and I have not given him any credit for all the hard work he has put forth to helping me too. He has been soo good at picking up the slack that i can no longer do. I am soo greatful for him and for all his patience with me.

I am being optimistic and hoping i can be back up to par in just a few weeks. But we will see. For now i will be taking it easy and learning to adjust my life. I just cant wait to be able to get back to my insanely crazy life again. I also can not wait to get out there on the field again. Soon...hopefully soon.