For the Love of the Game

So back in the day, I used to play high school soccer! I loved it! I have SOOOO MANY fond memories from way back when. I love soccer! It has always been a huge part of me and i have wanted for a long time to get back into it.

A girl i know signed up to play on a women's indoor soccer team. They were needing more players. I talked to J about me playing again. Pros are, it is super fun. It would help kick my butt and get it back into shape. It would give me a small "outlet" and escape from all the everyday stresses and crazy life that i live. Cons: I was soo out of shape. Did i mention i was soo out of shape. Running is not an easy thing to do for me as I have reached my old age, but I was confident this is as good of an excuse as ever to get back into it.

So i decided to go with the pros side and sign up. This would help me get back into running again. I have a huge love hate relationship with running. I love when you hit that "runners high" and i love the feeling i get AFTER I AM DONE. But during the moment i hate every minute of it. It is torture for me. I literally have to tell my self....one more step...one more step...you can do this...and so forth until i have hit my limit where i cannot go anymore. Not to mention i have yet to reach this "runners high" that i feel like came soo easily back in the olden days of highschool. It seems like it is harder to get there the older i get.

So we had our first game and I was soo pumped. I have soo missed this sport. I just felt this inner demon within me. My head knew exactly what to do but my body would not keep up with my head. It was a fight the first game to get back into it. And of course i suffered the soreness and stiffness that follows those lovely soccer games. But i pushed on. I kept up on the exercising. I kept up with running as much as my sore stiff legs would allow and hit the gym the other days. I was finally started to feel like i could actually do this again. The games have been soo fun and i have actually surprised myself with little things that have come back to me to help me in the game. Plus I love the feeling when that perfect pass gets set up for you to blow the ball past the goalie.

Last night we had another game. I decided I would wrap my awful shin splints up before the game just like i did back in high school. My husband has told me that maybe that I should take it easy for one game and not overdue it because i needed to give them time to heal. I on the other hand cannot go out half way on the soccer field. I have to give it my all and then i end up suffering the consequences for a few days thereafter. I should of maybe listened to him. I knew my shins splints were pretty bad but the tape really really does help them a ton. I felt renewed last night and was pretty pumped to play again!

We were in the final 5 minutes. I am going for the ball with the other player. The ball is up in the air and I jumped up to trap it and come down hard. Sadly, as I came down. my ankle snapped to the side. I landed hard on the side of my foot not the sole of my foot. I felt a crack and the pain was gnarly. I sat there stunned for a minute and realize that as i try to move my foot it is screaming for me to stop. It is hurting soo bad. I was sooo bummed. No..not now ..I do not have time in my crazy life to have a foot injury and this cannot be happening. I get helped off the field by my teammates and start icing. The pain is soo bad. I see a small spot off the side of my foot start to get swollen and poke through my sock. I am soo scared it is broken. Life then turns into a Chinese fire drill. I have a friend help drive me home with the two kids in the back. J leaves his job to meet me at home. We meet J at the house and find out we have only 15 minutes to get to the urgent care b4 they close. I really did not and could not afford any type of ER bills. I still haven't seen the damage from conners surgery last month. J gets us all loaded up and we head into urgent care to get xrays. The pain sucks soo bad. The throbbing is making me nauseous. I am pissed(very angry, sorry mom) cause i really do not have a life where I can afford to be out of commission. I work 3 jobs..i have two busy boys with two busy little schedules and frankly being couch bound is not my idea of fun. This sucks. I have family comming into town in a week...my house is a sight in of itself and i really really cannot have this be happening.

We get the doc to finally see us, and we get the xrays. Diagnosis: Not broken!

Phew...i am soo thankful it is not broken. I was soo worried when i heard and felt that crackle when i landed on it. I did tear two of the tendons and sprain it. Bad news...the doc informs me breaking it would have been alot less painful and probably easier on the healing process. I also get to sport this ridiculous looking walking cast.


I also get to be on crutches until i can apply pressure. I am not sure how long that will take, but i hope not that long...Then once i am comfortable doing so, I can work up to walking on it again. I really am bummed. Once i get to walking, I can then ditch the "awesome" foot gear, and trade it in for a brace. That way I can wear shoes again. There goes me trying to get back into shape. There goes the million and ten things i needed to get done...there goes driving for the time being.

Well...it has not yet been a day. I have had a huge amount of help and support from my friends out here. They have been sooo awesome. I cannot thank them enough for all the sacrifice they have done to help with serving me. I am not one to ask for help very easily. This morning one of my good friends just showed up without me knowing and started getting the boys ready for school. She dressed them..got them breakfast and even ran a special errand for me. She then stopped in with dinner later this afternoon. My visiting teacher who is also my teammate came by this morning and brought me crutches and more dinner! I was soo excited. To get the crutches and not have to go and buy them is a huge blessing. I no longer had to crawl around the house. Crawling around the house has been no fun. I have a new found admiration for little babies who crawl all over the place. It did not find it fun nor did my knees like the feeling. I could have a little freedom. And to have dinner taken care of is a huge stress relief. It was such an answer to my prayers. And all the phone calls to check in on me have helped soo much. I am soo extremely thankful for all my friends and all they do for us out here. They truly are our family out here and I am soo grateful. And i must say how grateful i am for my hubby. He is soo busy and I have not given him any credit for all the hard work he has put forth to helping me too. He has been soo good at picking up the slack that i can no longer do. I am soo greatful for him and for all his patience with me.

I am being optimistic and hoping i can be back up to par in just a few weeks. But we will see. For now i will be taking it easy and learning to adjust my life. I just cant wait to be able to get back to my insanely crazy life again. I also can not wait to get out there on the field again. Soon...hopefully soon.

The Con Mans Surgery 10/14/2009

(long post: mostly just for my journal use)
Pre surgery:
Getting up and ready in his wonderful hospital gown


Mr. C all tucked away and getting ready to get his "happy juice"..his animal's get to join him in surgery..lucky animal's get to get their tonsils./adenoids out too!
!


Post surgery:


The Con Man was super super brave the day he had to have his surgery. We woke up bright and early to get to the hospital. On our way over he told me that his throat was hurting him really really bad. I felt soo bad for him. He was getting strep again..and this time it was the day of surgery. The Dr told me previously that he has done a ton of surgeries where the children still have strep present..he said that with some kids it doesnt go away and that leaves for no other alternative. I was just grateful he didnt have a fever. That is where they draw the line. They said any fever of 101 and over and surgery would have to be rescheduled. Thank goodness he didnt have a fever! We got to the hospital and when we walked into our room there was this little beanie baby waiting on the bed for conner.

Conner saw on his tag that his name was "seaweed". He was sooo excited that the nurses told him he would get to be conners forever. It also calmed conner that seaweed would be able to join him in the surgery...seaweed also has had recurrent strep throat. Conner did not seem nervous AT ALL! he was soo amazed by everything in the room and wanted to know how everything worked.(this little animal has now become conners favorite lil item to sleep with. He has to have him with him to be able go to sleep!)
We got him into his awesome hospital gown. J and I had been nervous wrecks all night long. We tried really hard to not have it show through..we didnt want to make conner get anxious as well. The Doc came in and chatted with us and he said they would give conner some special "happy juice". This was going to calm him down and get him feeling super mellow. He said it would make him say and do funny things and it would almost be as if he was "drunk". He was telling us all sorts of funny stories about other children and how they reacted on this medicine. I was dying of laughter..it was soo funny to hear. I was curious how Conner would react. Then we found out that he didnt act ANY different. He was still talking up a storm and hadnt seemed in one bit affected by this special"happy juice"

The anesthesiologist came in to check on him. He could not believe that conner had this special cocktail 20 min prior, and that he was completely and totally acting normal! haha figures...they brought in another doc and nurse to check conner..they too were amazed that he didnt act "drunk". They do this to calm the children down so they can Iv them. Since conner didnt react to this at all he would go back to the operating room and they would have to IV him after he was asleep. I was totally fine by that. This poor kid has been through soo much traumatic experiences with needles..and i didnt want to worry him more than he already had been.

I didnt realize how quickly they would rush to get him into the OR. I had to use the ladies room. When I came out, conner was in his bed waiting with the nurse right outside the restroom. J gave him a huge hug and kiss. I was getting ready to hug him and boom the bed was being rolled away from me...he was whisked off to the OR. I froze. I didnt even get to hug and kiss him. I dont even think the nurse realized that i was left standing in the dust. Conner was totally fine going back with them and didnt seem one bit nervous. This didnt help me though. I got soo emotional at that point i just felt the tears stream down my face. I was soo worried and i just wished i would have had the time to hug and kiss him before he went. Jesse gave me a big hug and kept reassuring me he would be ok. But i knew deep down he was just as worried as I was.

The doc said surgery would not be too long. 45 minutes. He said we would be able to see conner about 20 min after that. This was going to be a VERY LONG HOUR and a half. They gave us a pager so we could walk around or go get food from the cafeteria. J and i decided to try to distract ourselves and we would go and get something to attempt to eat. I was a nervous wreck..what if something happened......what if he bleeds tooo much. these were the only thoughts going through my mind.

After what seemed like an eternity the pager finally went off...Jesse and I literally dumped the food that i couldnt eat anyway, and took off as fast as we could to get to our little boy. We made it back to our room. The Doc came in to talk to us. He said the surgery went well. He said conner was in phase one of recovery. WE would get to see him at phase two. He did tell me that conners tonsils were SUPER SWOLLEN. He told us that he for sure had strep again, and because of the swelling and infection that he bled more than usual. He said he would be alright.... but that he will probably vomit during recovery. They say if you get any blood whatsoever that enters your stomach..u will puke it up.

I just soo badly wanted to see and hug my baby boy. I missed him soo much..i just wanted him back in our arms. After another 30-40 min i finally see this bed being wheeled down to our room. That's him..there is our baby!...as soon as they rolled him in i did not know what to expect..would he be crying..would he be sick..would he be in horrible pain...but when they brought him he was just sleeping away. It kinda scared me at first cause i would hold his hand and whisper to him. I would ask him to squeeze my hand if he knew mommy was with him, and he wouldnt squeeze...that totally freaked me out...i just wanted him to know daddy and I were finally with him again. He was super super super super pale. He was out cold. The nurses just said that he would wake up when he was ready, and that it was in fact good he was sleeping. Alot of the kids apparently come out screaming and crying. I knew he needed rest but i also didnt want him to think he was still alone. It took quite sometime for him to realize we were with him. When he did, he barely squeezed my hand. I knew he was being sooo BRAVE!

A little bit later he woke up. He looked miserable but the nurses wanted him to try a popsicle. As soon as he took one lick he started to gag. I started to inwardly panic. I soo could not imagine puking when your throat was just operated on. Sadly, That was just the first of many! The poor little guy vomited more blood that day than anything i have ever seen. He couldnt stop. The docs kept checking on him. They kept changing his course of stomach meds to try to get the vomiting to stop. It was sooo sad to see him soo miserable. The nurses felt horrible he wasnt stopping. They prepped us that if he didnt stop the vomiting he would be admitted so they could control the situation. I just wanted my little man to not be in pain and miserable. It was really hard for jesse and I to watch. With hours of non stop vomiting, He finally fell asleep again that afternoon and took a really good nap.

It was a miracle when he woke up. The vomiting had stopped. I was soo relieved. I could not bare to watch him wretch again. I was soo thankful that he was finally able to get some relief. He proved to the nurses he could hold down a half of a popsicle. He also had 3 small bites of jello. He held that down. Woohoo! that meant we could go home. I was soo done and ready to get him home to sleep and relax in his own house.

The nurses were soo good to him that day! They told us over and over that they could not believe what a trooper he was. That kid did not shed one tear there in the hospital that day. Even with all the vomiting...he did not shed one tear. They said he was one tough cookie. Most of the children...well 98 percent scream and bawl the whole recovery process...our nurse was soo impressed with how well he took the pain. He was soo brave.

Conner got his own personal ride in a wheelchair out to our car. We were finally heading home! I was sooo glad to get home. I could not wait to lay and snuggle with him in bed...and i knew little gavin was dying to see all of us too. We were gone WAY WAY WAY longer than everyone had expected so it was nice to be able to tell conner we could head home.

Home...we made it home....phew...what a day it had been. I knew we were in for a long recovery.. I went to bed early. It was nice to cuddle into my precious lil boy and just hold him. We snuggled. It was nice how mommy is still the best medicine. He snuggled me and we both fell asleep. We were ready for the long haul recovery. I made it through today..i could make it through the recovery.

The adventure's of our "Hallo Weenie!"

I wanted to start off my halloween post with a few of the halloween jokes that were told many times around here. I laughed and laughed and laughed..and laughed!

What couldn't the boy ghost get the girl ghost pregnant?
because he had a "hallo weenie!"

what do you get when you goose a ghost?
A handful of sheet!

Why cant witches have babies?
Because their husbands have crystal balls!

We made "spoooky" pumpkins(well daddy did the Amazing carving..mommy helped with the guts)



the boys were very intrigued!..


Sorry they are a little blurry..



We had Capt'n America and Iron Man come to stay at our house!

Capt'n America HIMSELF



Tony Stark Aka: IRON MAN! (the gavinator is OBSESSED with iron man, he is constantly singing "i am iron man..da da da da da da da daaaaa..his favorite song is the black sabbath version!)



Joey was Super Dog this year!








The boys came home with too much loot...the one bummer about this was mommy's favorite candy is butterfinger. It was a Sad thing to see that out of a huge freakin entire bowl full of candy..there was not ONE Butterfinger...SAd...i was soo looking forward to "sneaking" those one's out of the bucket! It must have been a sign! hahahaha!

All in all we had a great "hallo weenie" night! It was fun to hang out and trick or treats with the boys! The night was EVEN BETTER with the DUCKS VICTORY to USC...(sorry all my SC fans...that was one night where i had to cheer on our DUCKS BABY) Here is my shout out to the Oregon Ducks! They rocked in that night!